Marcy Borders, pictured below, passed away on Tuesday, August 25, 2015 after a year-long battle with stomach cancer. On September 11, 2001 I sat on my couch and watched what started as a plane crash quickly turn in to much more than that. I watched the second plane hit the World Trade Center live on TV. All day long I watched in horror as America came under attack and I feared what would happen next, along with the rest of the US. The next day I saw this photo in the newspaper and I hung it on my living room wall where it would remain for over 3 years when we moved to another house. I left it there to remind myself of how quickly things can change and how an ordinary day can flip and forever change the way we live our lives day-to-day. Marcy Borders, my thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends today. I will never forget you. Rest In Paradise.  #NeverForget

    Should Lambert's Continue Throwing Rolls to Customers?

I will post updates daily with poll results! Thanks for voting!
         Lambert’s Café opened in Sikeston, Missouri on March 13, 1942 and has been a staple of Southeast Missouri ever since. We used to visit Lambert’s Café every year around July 4th when we would make our way to Boomland in Charleston, Missouri to buy fireworks. Lambert’s is known for their great food and atmosphere but their most popular attraction is the ever-popular throwed rolls.  They’re actually known as Lambert’s, Home of the Throwed Rolls. It’s not at all a secret than when you go in to have a meal here that you will be witness to rolls-their delicious, fluffy and warm rolls-being tossed through the air to hungry and happy customers. This is what you come for.

        The history behind the throwed roll is that one day during a lunch rush Norman Lambert was walking around passing out rolls when a customer that preferred not to wait yelled out, “Throw it to me!” and Norman did, and it stuck.

        So imagine my, and quite frankly everyone’s, surprise when this year in August of 2015 a woman from Saint Louis, Missouri decided to sue Lambert’s Café after being hit in the face by a roll that was thrown. Okay crazy lady......

        I’m sure this woman was hit in the face. I’m sure it hurt and I’m sure she was embarrassed. However I’m not sure it’s worth a $25,000 lawsuit. Her lawsuit is without a doubt going to lead to one thing happening from here on out at Lambert's Cafe: no more throwed anything. Thanks a lot, random St. Louis woman. You’re ruining the fun for all of us! And we do not thank you!

        The reason I even go to Lambert’s Café is to catch me a dinner roll. Part of the fun is seeing if I’ll actually connect with my hand, or sometimes with my face. Both of my children have been struck by a roll mid-air. They were both under the age of 7 when this happened. Did they whine and cry about it? Hell no! I know this woman is claiming some major injuries but I just do not believe it was purely the result of a tossed roll. No way, no how.

        Please Lambert’s, I’m begging you, please THROW THE ROLL when I come by nextyear! It’s totally okay if you hit me, I’ll sign any paperwork you want me to!

        What do you think? Does this woman deserve compensation? Should Lambert’s continue to throw their rolls? Would you return to eat here if they don’t?

Okay so gay marriage has been legalized all over the country and in Kentucky a county clerk has decided that it’s against her religious beliefs (I believe she's been divorced multiple times, lol) to issue a marriage license to a gay couple that has applied for one. This is really, really simple to figure out ya’ll: do NOT apply for a job that may require you to perform tasks you are not comfortable performing. Sure, gay marriage recently became a thing but the minute it was approved she should have stepped down and started working anywhere else but issuing marriage licenses. Why is this so hard to figure the fuck out? If I’m against people drinking beer instead of spending that money on their kids, I won’t take a fucking job at a liquor store. If I hate being around bratty-ass kids that ain’t mine, I don’t become a teacher. If I don’t wanna be around blood and puke all the time, I don’t study to be a nurse. If ya don’t want to do what the job entails, do not fucking work there. I normally don't comment about shit like this but come the fuck on people, since when can you be like, "No I don't wanna", when at work?

This is not up for debate. I’m right, you’re wrong, next blog!

I love our local news anchors but this has got to be one of my favorite moments. Robert Bradfield  can not deal with this pig's name. The other is for sure when Mike Mallory was talking about celebrity birthdays and yelled Samuel L. Jackson's because THAT IS THE WAY HE TALKS!
      I like to read a lot of literally anything I can get my hands on. There is not one section of the local library I have not grabbed a book/magazine from and read it. When I was younger I would sit at our kitchen table and read the cereal box while I ate breakfast. At the doctor’s office if no magazines are out I’ll start grabbing pamphlets and read those and thanks to smartphones I can walk around in the grocery store and check out celebrity gossip or my favorite local gossip website, Facebook.

       Below are some quotes I have read that I love. I would say they were all my favorite but the last one is without a doubt my choice. I would love to have it tattooed on me some day.  In the comments, leave me a few of yours. Thanks for reading!

1.    “The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.”

2.   “Even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying.”

3.  “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”

4.  “Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”

5.  “A person who is nice to you but is not nice to the waiter is NOT a nice person.”

6. “If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.”

7.  “Keep the faith. The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope.”

8. “It is not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”

9. “Sometimes I feel like giving up then I remember I have a lot of motherfuckers to prove wrong.”

***This last quote is my favorite***

10. “There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky, and you ask “What if I fall?” Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

1.    Spiders. Anyone who has me as a friend on Facebook knows this. I don’t like how they look and I don’t like how they sound when you kill them. I’m the bitch who’s putting a cup over it until someone comes home that will kill it for me. Or I’m drowning that bitch with anything spray-able. I cannot and will not kill one. Just, ewwww.

2.   Coconut. I hate the texture of it. The taste of it. A really great recipe can be completely ruined by the addition of coconut. However, I do love the smell of it. I adore the scent of suntan lotion even though I have never in my life used it and don’t really see the need ever arising. #PaleBitchProblems

3.  The fucking interstate. Too many huge semi-truck and too many assholes thinking they’re Nascar drivers when really the fact that they have a license at all is a mystery to me. Everyone is always in a hurry to get to where they wanna be. It makes me nervous. I trust me as a driver but you, no fucking way, not even the tiniest bit. If I was a police officer working the interstate I’d taser every single one of you muthafuckers as soon as you got you window down far enough to allow me to.

4.   Summer. My gawd, the heat and the humidity are out to kill all of us! I believe in global warming (even though if I’m being 100% honest, I really don’t know what it is lol but I’m sure it’s bad and I don’t want it) and the facts are just the facts: there’s only so many clothes you can take off but you can pile them up as long as you got them for pilin’ .   Fuck you summer. I know how to drive in the snow and ice, bring it on as long as I keep power!

5.   Hangovers. When I was younger (let’s not get in to the how young part of it) hangovers, if I got one, lasted a few hours tops. A good breakfast/lunch of fried eggs (always runny yolk), hashbrowns and biscuits was and still is the go-to, feel-good food for the mood. Now it takes that food combo plus Tylenol plus Pepto-Bismol plus tons of sleep and water plus just not fucking drinking in the first damn place in order for me to get over a hangover. The drinking Gods no longer are smiling down upon me, those bastards.

6.  Folding laundry. It. takes. FOREVER! I hate it hate it hate it. I feel like I’m never caught up, like my dryer has a fungus growing inside of it and that fungus is in the shape of clean laundry and there’s no cure and I’ll never escape the curse that is folding clothes.

7.   Twitter. It’s just not my thing at all. I cannot get a complete thought out in 120 characters or less. It’s frustrating as fuck to get a few words out and look up and see most of it highlighted in red, meaning it must be deleted. No thanks.

8.  Vehicles. I use to have the best luck with cars. I could have one for years without any mechanical problems whatsoever but lately it seems every time I turn around something else on my car needs replaced. Sometimes I found out the first try what’s the problem and it will be fairly cheap but sometimes I’ll spend several hundred dollars trying to find out what the fuck I’ve messed up on this piece of shit vehicle. At the same time I sure as fuck don’t intend on walking anywhere so it’s definitely a love/hate relationship we have with each other.

9.  Waiting on people. I’m the most impatient person alive I think. Waiting in line at the store (like for real, if you don’t know how to use self check-out, please just don’t! I know what the fuck I’m doing!), waiting for the hubby to get off work and get in the car, waiting for the kids to come out of the school, waiting for the doctor to get his never-present self in this tiny-ass room he me stuck me in for the last forty-five fucking minutes listening to that awful elevator music bullshit, waiting on the phone for someone who clearly cannot speak English even though I pressed “1” for English, always fucking waiting. Waiting and waiting and waiting.

10.   I hate being interrupted. If people would just shut the fuck up for two seconds and let me finish a thought they might not jump to conclusions about what it is I’m trying to say. Just shhhhhhh. #ShutUpMeg

Not sure what I’m writing about tomorrow but it’ll be……..something. Thanks for reading!

1.    This one is kinda obvious, as in I assume everyone likes this: honesty. I don’t mind the occasional white lie but don’t be a dick about the big stuff. Did you take my lighter? Not a big deal. Did you steal my wallet? Bitch, I’m gonna find out. Exactly how hard do you want me to hate you? See the difference?

2.    Dogs. I mean, I like cats too but if I had to run in to a burning building and these are on opposite sides of said building, I’m grabbing that puppy and I’m fucking bookin’ it. #TeamGrumpyPuppy  #AllTheWay

3.    Breaking Bad. As much as I despise what meth has done to the people I love, I cannot stop loving this show. Even though it’s over. I actually didn’t even start watching it until the series ended. I always like the cool shit when everyone else is already diggin’ it and the new has worn off a little.

4.    Reading. I started out reading gossip/celebrity magazines that my Dad use to buy. I think the first thing I ever fully read was probably a National Enquirer. Lol.  My kids also started out the same way, except their magazines included In Touch and People. The first book I ever loved was To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. It was required reading for 8th grade English and I have never been happier to do my homework. I read everything and anything now. Books, magazines, pamphlets, how-to instructions to things I have absolutely no intentions of ever attempting to assemble, etc. If I can see it, it’s getting read.

5.    Writing. Some like what I do and some think I’m a fucking moron. I just do it because I like to do it. I have a thousand thoughts always running through my head and when I was younger there really wasn’t many ways for me to get out what I was feeling. Writing is awesome because I don’t have to force anyone to listen and no one can interrupt me. I like pushing buttons too so typing is hella fun for me. #ItsTheLittleThings

6.    Reality TV. I know, it’s ruining America but I don’t really care, I fucking love it. Nothing is better than being front row to a full-blown train wreck right from the comfort of my couch/bed. Sign me up!

7.    Camel Crush Menthol Lights. I love popping that poppy thing and the goodness that follows. I know smoking is bad for me and I’ll quit one day but for now, this is my shit.

8.    The Los Angeles Clippers. They are my dudes!  I was really pissed off when we got rid of Matt Barnes and almost lost Deandre but we pulled our shit together and kept DJ and added Paul Pierce and Lance Stephenson.  We have one helluva solid fucking team right now. I'm excited to see how this season coming up goes down.  I really wish Brookport would get an NBA team and they would move here. Lol. Dream on…..

*By the way, we’re kicking ass in the 2016 Finals.

9.    Texting. I hate answering phone calls so much! I have this major awkwardness about me and I tend to get tongue-tied quite easily so it’s just easier to text you so I can see it first before making a complete fool of myself. Please quit calling me. That’s why I have texting in the first damn place. Besides, I’m not going to answer anyway.

10.  Walgreens. Because it’s not Walmart, not even close and it has everything I need to grab. Fuck Walmart to the highest power. Just stepping in Walmart makes me want to punch a newborn right in the face. Everyone in there is an asshole and no one knows how to behave like decent human beings. What in the hell is wrong with this place? Can anyone tell me?

Tomorrow I’ll do Ten Thing I Don’t Like. Seems logical.

            Summer is almost over and I for one could not be more excited for school to start. Even though my kids are older they still annoy the ever-loving shit out of me. Just in a more mature (LIE!) way. Everything here at home has been fairly uneventful so let’s just jump straight to current events. First up, that damn lion. I’d be lion (haha I know cheesy as fuck) if I said I gave a damn at all about this controversial killing. I don’t. Animals get shot, it happens. He paid $50,000. He could shoot me for that kind of cash (not kill, just shoot. Let's not get too crazy here). I’m not much of a trophy but the offer still stands. Every day there’s a bitch about something and social media cannot wait to jump on the bandwagon and feel like they have contributed in some way to the changing of the world.  Calm down folks, all you’ve done is slightly distract me for the afternoon. Okay, that’s enough about the lion known around the world (for like, a week?). I cannot believe I even know this motherfucker’s name! #CecilIsDead  #GetOverIt
JUST IN: Cecil's brother, Jericho, has been shot and killed. Why the fuck do I even know this?

            Now on to the Trump, yes yes, the Donald. The Hair. The terrible, awesome hair. Will I vote for this arrogant rich bitch? Never! Will I watch him give   interviews and speeches that infuriate everyone in the audience? Umm, hell yes! What can I say; this dude knows how to entertain easily amused people like myself. Two enthusiastic thumbs up, asshole.

            Well this is short and sweet; more short than sweet. Today is a most beautiful day here in Southern Illinois and I’m about to take my super cheerful self outside and see what kind of shenanigans I might be able to get in to. I have another blog I’ve started on that I’ll be finishing and posting this evening or in the morning. Hope some of you will read it!



    August 2015
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    I am a thirty-something mother of two. I spend my days cooking, reading, stalking, bitching and now blogging!